Not Again

I always thought he was the enemyThe-Girl-in-the-Spiders-Web-Movie-Wallpapers-9[1]
In that simple – not quite love – triangle.
“We’re still learners” was forever in mind
Mistakes of the past never left behind.
I regret nothing. I would do it all…
again? Yes. In exactly the same way;
No difference to my actions, because
The past is only a chain of events
That have led me to where I am right now.
To break that chain, is to commit murder –
Bloody murder, murder, murder most foul.
I am not who I was an hour ago,
That hour was but another link of chain
And I sit now in the present, gazing,
back at the links of my amazing chain.
Some of the links are stronger and harder
to imagine the chain lacking; the past,
The events, the links and the memories
without which we are nothing of ourselves.
If you break a single link in a chain
You break the chain, you kill the present: You.

This was one of those events, tragedy
I could never be here without knowing.
And so I look back and laugh at the fool
that used to be me, his stupid mistakes.
And I learn. That triangle, was not won.
Events from that triangle are again
like bad omens, jumping up on my chain;
A redhead. A good friend. And a formal.
I can see a new triangle forming
Again I must run the hypotenuse
But experience and foresight are mine
I have the advantage of time, and space –
yes, I live closer then him on a map.
But he already knows her, not as I
would come to. But they were on friendly terms.
Funny how futile this was, everything
I was doing, only set up more pain.
I did not want to lose a friend again.

Shakespeare was right you know, with Othello;
Suspicion and Jealousy can drive you,
usually mad, but sometimes to success
and quite rare when it happens to be both.
This triangle never was one of love
I always thought he was the enemy
And in doing so only made him one.
Mistakes only seemed to be repeating
themselves, and I was ready to cry, die.
“I give up”; Those words which I never say
passed by my lips that day in ignorance
of the victory that I had achieved.
Despite all the evidence; I had won!
But the announcement had to come too late
The triangle had grown more than three sides.
It was a web, horrible and tangled.
I escaped to one side and hung over
the edge, holding on by a thread – not red
No, this was not a redhead. An old friend
who delivered me my true victory;
An invitation, the sweetest success.
Everything would have been perfect but no,
She had to be stuck in the webs center.
The spider in this web had lost it’s prey;
“She couldn’t come today” and retreated
to the center of this web it had spun.
He was the real enemy from the start
Always there, but that’s not the scary part,
He thinks like me. That sparkle in his eye
Same as the smile that I tend to wear
His thoughts, to me, were déja vu. No more.
So I am competing with me, myself
and almost I. Rodriego wants to try
for the part. He tries to be like me more
then he realises. The tangled web
got infinitely more tangled for me
When Rodriego tried to become master.

A web is not like a chain – break as much
as you want and a web will still remain.
But if I killed the spider… no more web,
only a simple triangle again.

Alex Herlihy – 2009

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